People are under the misconception that crab racing is a long and slow process. However, a “long” race will last up to 55 seconds, a normal crab race lasts up to 30 seconds, and the fastest race on record is seven seconds.
So the next time someone says, “Got a minute?” That’s one, two, or 8.571428571429 races. DAMN! Those hermit crabs are haulin’ shell!
Lucille Claw-ll, Affirmative Crab-shun, Shark-Nado, Pinching Tiger, Hidden Crab, Krabniss Everdeen, Lady Claw Claw, Bro-barian, Roy E. Munson, Balloonicorn, Count Baculum, Montgomery Crab, Sloan Sabbath, Crust Racin’, and the tiniest crab: Gimme Shell-ter. Keep up the good work on the names!
NOT SO GREAT
Mark, Pretzel, Kitty, Mommy, Rehab Crab: Your asking why is this a losing name? Because crabs don’t quit! Kill Whitey, Gary’s Crab, F**K Texas, Lunch, Twerk, Tim Tebow’s Love Child, McKenzie F**king Zales, Rainbow Rumpus Party Town, Drawn Butter, and Who Cares.
See you at the races!
Until then, stay crabbie!
To be a part of this eccentric breed, all you have to do is show up on:
Mondays @ 9:30 p.m. at Local Bar
Thursdays @ 9:30 p.m. at Exile Bar
The Halloween Crab Race at Exile on
will be something special!
I’d like to give a big thanks to the sponsors that have donated prizes to the crab races! Since the list is rather long, I will feature as many as possible over the next few months. Here are some of our generous sponsors:
La Fogata, Exile, Barrel 44, B. D. Mongolian, Spirits on High, AMC Theaters, Z Pizza, Union Bar, Explorers Club, The Pearl, Level, Jeni’s Ice Cream, White Castle, Taco Bell and Sushi Rock.